G/R/I/E/F
According to Merriam-Webster the definition of ‘grief’ (or in this instance, grieving) is:
Have you ever lost a son, daughter or child?
I have.
My son, Anthony John Masters, passed in a ‘surgical trauma’ intensive care unit on June 11th, 2023.
He was returning home on his bicycle after a night out with friends in Brooklyn, New York when as a result of an encounter with a pedestrian he fell from his bike and hit the ground, not wearing a helmet, and suffered head trauma.
Unconscious from the impact of the fall someone (most likely the pedestrian, or other bystander. though as fate would have it, someone was driving behind Anthony with his dashcam capturing the moment of impact) called EMS, who brought Anthony to Elmhurst Hospital; Center, Queens, a Level I trauma center and teaching affiliate of an arguably top tier medical school, aka the Icahn Mt. Sinai School of Medicine. According to their website the institution claims:
The Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai leadership team is comprised of world-class clinicians, scientists, educators, and administrators, all experts and innovators in their fields.
This is the second time my life has unfortunately intersected with this venture, some would say ‘vulture capitalist’ Carl Icahn, the first being his acquisition and resulting destruction of the national asset TWA (Trans World Airlines) via leveraged debt, key asset liquidations, and strained – if not toxic – relations with employees.
The financial strain from the debt service and the loss of key assets eventually led TWA to file for bankruptcy in 1992. (NOTE: My mom, worked for TWA in Los Angeles as senior agent in charge of west coast operations during the ‘graveyard shift). Icahn skated (ie, ‘exited’) from the company in 1993 but continued to receive annual payments due to the sale of lucrative TWA London routes to American Airlines.
My second, unfortunately ‘lethal’, encounter with the ‘Icahn legacy’, a noted and in some camps revered ‘billionaire investor and philanthropist‘ is via his apparent 2012 ‘honoring‘ by Mt Sinai School of Medicine rebranding to the ‘Icahn School of Medicine at Mt. Sinai’ in recognition of his ‘generous donations and continued support to the institution‘, further citing ‘his contributions have been instrumental in furthering the school’s mission and initiatives.’
But, I digress, now back to the story:
In my experience that ‘world-class’ clinical team (some would say mission statement ‘ad copy’ noted above) failed, and miserably so. Lots more to come as this tragic story and associated timeline unfolds, but for now this is an attempt to walk through, sometimes literally crawl through. the disempowering and disabling grief that comes in deep waves of sadness to depression to anger and then rage as I replay the last 48 hours of Anthony’s life in this worldly plane.
Since I create original content generally focused on innovation in healthcare from idea to business model and have managed academic medical centers, community hospitals both proprietary (for profit) and so-called ‘non-profit’ (a misnomer since they behave no differently that their for profit peers and are more correctly categorized as ‘tax exempt’) at both the operating unit and health system level, I know a few things about hospital operations, culture and challenges of team based integration of the medical staff into legacy hospital service or department workflows.
In my documentarian role I penned a piece during his stay and while he was clearly on the road to recovery titled ‘Reports from the bedside: Observations on the ‘NMP’ Culture endemic in many U.S. health systems’. Little did I know at that time that Anthony would pay the ultimate price of this ‘bystander effect’, collaborative failure or according to Merriam-Website ‘mis-adventure’, associated with the ‘NMP (not my patient. not my problem) culture”.
Yet, some 6+ weeks out since Anthony’s passing, I struggle daily with the ‘now what’ question of how to grieve, what does it look like, how long will it take, what does a ‘new normal’ look and feel like, is ‘normal’ even possible, and who should I grieve with, not to mention the regrets some of us parents may ruminate on while searching for answers or clues as to the why this happened. Too many questions. No clear answers. Yet.
So I return to my comfort level of writing, recording and publishing the journey.
Let’s #EndNMP. It will take an army to change this potential toxic if not lethal culture in medicine.
Follow me on twitter via @GreggMastersMPH, tagging #EndNMP & #TonyForever
Ty.
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